afternoon sun,the path is

I had something of a revelation – vast, giddy side of ‘Aha!” – on the tail end of my Johnson Ranch Trail hike Tuesday afternoon after work. It followed, maybe 150 yards down the path toward the parking lot, an experience so profound and personal I don’t have any words for it. Call it a hushed, ethereal couple of moments.

I did spend some time very early Wednesday morning sharing the experience as best I could via Zoom with my teacher David, Roshi, who – nothing new here – asked me a few questions, none of which I could (can) answer. I open my mouth and nothing falls out, like that Harlan Ellison story “I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream,” I bet really like that. After a few moments I started laughing, completely dumbstruck, such an interesting experience.

That is much of my practice – Awash in dumbfoundedness, and not knowing much of anything. Honestly. Sometimes we use the word ‘Intimate.’ I’m quite fine with the childish glee of ‘Duh.’

“They flutter behind you, your possible pasts. Some bright-eyed and crazy, some frightened and lost.” – Pink Floyd